Yeah ok, it's been nearly a year since my last blog entry. I do think of things to write about, but I tend to do most of my ranting on Facebook as it offers quick relief. But after some pestering by friends, I'm starting this baby back up again. My first few posts will be about things that annoy me, cos I'm a cheerful soul. The first vexing blot in my life is Wind Street.
Let me just make something clear first. I don't condemn all who set foot on the street; I've done it before and I'll probably do it again. If you want to go, fine. I raise a few eyebrows when I say I'm off to Sin City to perv on angsty teenagers, each to their own. But to me it does seem like a meeting point for all of the biggest and loudest twats in South Wales. What prompted me to write this is I recently had the pleasure of fleetingly visiting the street again, and the first thing I saw was a young lady get unsteadily out of a taxi near the castle, stare triumphantly into the distance for a couple of seconds before vomiting on her shoes.
I'll start off by slating the typical women who descend upon the street. I cringe when I see young girls with orange/brown faces strutting about wearing what I can only assume are belts for skirts. It's not a jealousy thing, I just think it looks desperate, and not very nice in the slightest. I wonder how these girls can look at themselves in the mirror before setting out, take in their huge stuck on eyelashes, six layers of makeup, and barely-concealed vag-jay-jay and think "yup, I look awesome". I sometimes walk into bars thinking I've accidentally stumbled into an oompa-loompa sex party. Then as the evening wears on, they get steadily louder and more screechy, before inevitably collapsing face first onto the pavement. If drunken tears make an appearence they end up looking like a recently-dumped Joker. I've also been "started on" by these human sex dolls on a couple of occasions for accidentally knocking them as I make my way through the bar. This doesn't happen much, and I always immediately apologise, but I usually get some sort of unnecessary "watch where you're fucking going" comment thrown at me. Although if their excessive layers of lipgloss have glued their lips shut I tend to receive such an evil stare you'd swear I'd just eaten their first child. I also derive much amusement from the poses these types of girls pull for photos, usually adopting the "duck face" which I assume they think makes them look sexy instead of retarded.
Then you have the men. As you all know I've been in a relationship for over seven years and therefore have absolutely no interest in the advances of lagered up spackers who are under the illusion that they are God's gift to women. These are the type of guys who will stumble up to you, slur something you can't quite make out, before taking your response of "erm" as "please put me over your shoulder and carry me away from my friends". I also had one guy put his tongue in my ear. I liked him.
Then there's the bars themselves. There are a few I don't mind, but I once had the unpleasant experience of being in Ice, which is in my opionion the worst bar on the street. Packed to the rafters with chavs, pumping out crap music and boasting a very threatening atmosphere, I find it difficult to believe that people can actually have fun in that place. I also got charged five pounds sodding fifty pence for a double vodka and redbull in there once. The girl behind the bar also managed to knock my confidence in the process, slowly looking me up and down before saying "that's £5.50, mind". I felt like going back and ordering ten more just to make a point. Couple these sort of bars with bouncers on a power trip and you'll soon be wishing you were home with a cup of very strong tea. It doesn't help that, the majority of the time, what I seek in a night out is a few drinks and drunken banter. You can't have that in bars that are steadily trying to deafen you with Rihanna's latest hits. I don't like having to get an inch away from my friend's ear to shout "CAN WE LEAVE?" over the music. I also can't dance, and I don't mean that in a cutesy I-like-to-say-I-can't-dance-but-secretly-can way. I mean it in the way that I have absolutely no rhythm, no grace, and no real desire to dance to the sort of music coming out of the speakers. I'd much jump about to Feeder without caring about how much of an idiot I probably look.
Oh, and the bars are also slippery when wet, as I discovered when taking my younger sister out for her 18th birthday last year. We were quite a few drinks down in Idols before she went arse over tit on the dancefloor due to what was probably a pool of Stella. She was fine, bruised ankle, but in my drunken state the first thing that sprung to my mind as I watched my little sister sail through the air towards the sodden Idols floor was "Mam better not fucking blame me for this".
All that being said, it's probably not the worst place in the world, and there have been rare occasions where I've had fun on this street. But I really need to be in the right mood. And pissed. Very, very pissed.
Monday, 11 April 2011
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
The event of the yur, like
Nobody who knows me could ever accuse me of hating Swansea. I was born and bred here, and I love the place. I could go on and on about the ways in which Swansea is awesome (and believe me I do), but this post will be casting a critical eye over a certain event over the weekend that swiftly pissed off me and everyone within a five-mile-radius of the fucking thing.
Upon glancing out of my window at 11.30am on Saturday, all I could see were topless male chavs with "tats" in abundance, and scantily clad female chavs, the majority holding a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of alcohol in the other. All were bellowing a limited variety of swears, and generally strutting around like they owned Uplands, occasionally stopping briefly to vomit. I naturally assumed it was the apocalypse, and promptly shut my curtains, and dithered for a couple of minutes wondering who I should phone to say goodbye to first. Then I remembered it was the chav's version of Christmas. Escape in the Park has been running for quite a few years now, and while I've always been an advocate of "each to their own", I have no idea why anyone would want to gather in an arena which offerings include an endless mish-mash of noise, aggressive, worked up meatheads fighting eachother, and general chav-esque tomfoolery that would embarrass even Tim Westwood.
I will go on to look at how the event could be good for Swansea later on, but first I will look at how it annoys most Swansea residents to the point of writing a strongly-worded blog entry.
First of all - the noise. At the risk of sounding like an elderly woman who glares in the direction of any type of pitch higher than that nice Terry Wogan off the radio's dulcet tones, the noise is fucking ridiculous. From what I've heard, the arena is not big. Therefore it's not like a lot of musical festivals where, due to the space left between stages, you can hear a definite melody and lyrics from the outside of the arena. With EITP however, all that can be heard is a horrible, non-specific boom-boom-boom, thanks to stages being placed too close together, with the respective Djs assumingly trying to out-do eachother in regards to volume. This is a nightmare for any nearby residents who have the nerve not to be interested in non-stop repetitive noise. This leads me into my next point - the location.
You will rarely get musical festivals plonked in the middle of residental areas. The reasons are obvious, and yet the organisers choose to ignore this and go ahead with it anyway. I may have been slightly more acceptable of the idea if the little darlings pill-popping parade ended at around 6-7pm instead of carrying on until 12am. Twelve hours of eardrum busting "music" isn't fair on anyone in the vicinity. I'm not saying I toddle off to bed at 7pm on a Saturday night, but I'm not the only person living in the surrounding area. There are people of all ages, case in point I have a friend who lives nearby with a young daughter and he expressed his frustration of not being able to get her off to sleep due to the noise. Another thing the organisers have seemingly failed to acknowledge is the very long and very busy duel carriageway that runs along Singleton park, and how the aforementioned carriageway may pose a threat to drunk/drugged individuals who may choose to escape the park for a bit (see what I did there). I remember when Jonny used to live in West Cross, I had several idiots walk nonchalantly infront of my car as I was driving along on the day of this wretched event. And even when it ends, it doesn't stop there.
I've had a couple of light hearted digs at the chavs already, and yeah maybe they can be a bit louder and more aggressive than your average music festival goer, but I'm not going to pretend that the piece de resistance of this annoying tale wouldn't have happened if they had been of a different variety of people. Living in Uplands, there are a lot of taxis, kebab shops etc, so it's unsurprising that a lot of the masses go home via this way. Unfortunately, due to a mix of alcohol and euphoria, and without a doubt something of the illegal variety, it renders them without a care in the world. This leads to groups of utter twats marching through the streets at silly o clock singing, fighting, and generally screeching at the top of their voices, without even considering how their actions may be affecting other people. I was woken up quite a lot, as was Jonny, and I'm sure loads of other people.
Ok, I understand how events like this could be good for the area, for example tourism. I also appreciate that it could generate a fair amount of money as well. But in my opinion it doesn't justify putting everyone in the vicinity through a bit of a nightmare in the process. Yes it's only one day, but unless you live nearby you can't imagine how annoying it is. And I'm not just having a bit of a moan purely because it's a be festival which includes the type of music I'm not really into; I had the same concerns when Singelton Park was going to hold the Fflam festival a couple of years ago. Initially I thought it was a good idea, but then I considered the location, and started to wonder if the organisers had really thought this through.
Anyway, rant over. There's not doubt EITP will continue for years, and I can deal with it, probably by investing in a good pair of earplugs. It's the older people I feel most sorry for, perhaps organisers should start a campaign to include them...
Whatever happens, I would prefer it if this particular outside disco was a silent one.
Upon glancing out of my window at 11.30am on Saturday, all I could see were topless male chavs with "tats" in abundance, and scantily clad female chavs, the majority holding a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of alcohol in the other. All were bellowing a limited variety of swears, and generally strutting around like they owned Uplands, occasionally stopping briefly to vomit. I naturally assumed it was the apocalypse, and promptly shut my curtains, and dithered for a couple of minutes wondering who I should phone to say goodbye to first. Then I remembered it was the chav's version of Christmas. Escape in the Park has been running for quite a few years now, and while I've always been an advocate of "each to their own", I have no idea why anyone would want to gather in an arena which offerings include an endless mish-mash of noise, aggressive, worked up meatheads fighting eachother, and general chav-esque tomfoolery that would embarrass even Tim Westwood.
I will go on to look at how the event could be good for Swansea later on, but first I will look at how it annoys most Swansea residents to the point of writing a strongly-worded blog entry.
First of all - the noise. At the risk of sounding like an elderly woman who glares in the direction of any type of pitch higher than that nice Terry Wogan off the radio's dulcet tones, the noise is fucking ridiculous. From what I've heard, the arena is not big. Therefore it's not like a lot of musical festivals where, due to the space left between stages, you can hear a definite melody and lyrics from the outside of the arena. With EITP however, all that can be heard is a horrible, non-specific boom-boom-boom, thanks to stages being placed too close together, with the respective Djs assumingly trying to out-do eachother in regards to volume. This is a nightmare for any nearby residents who have the nerve not to be interested in non-stop repetitive noise. This leads me into my next point - the location.
You will rarely get musical festivals plonked in the middle of residental areas. The reasons are obvious, and yet the organisers choose to ignore this and go ahead with it anyway. I may have been slightly more acceptable of the idea if the little darlings pill-popping parade ended at around 6-7pm instead of carrying on until 12am. Twelve hours of eardrum busting "music" isn't fair on anyone in the vicinity. I'm not saying I toddle off to bed at 7pm on a Saturday night, but I'm not the only person living in the surrounding area. There are people of all ages, case in point I have a friend who lives nearby with a young daughter and he expressed his frustration of not being able to get her off to sleep due to the noise. Another thing the organisers have seemingly failed to acknowledge is the very long and very busy duel carriageway that runs along Singleton park, and how the aforementioned carriageway may pose a threat to drunk/drugged individuals who may choose to escape the park for a bit (see what I did there). I remember when Jonny used to live in West Cross, I had several idiots walk nonchalantly infront of my car as I was driving along on the day of this wretched event. And even when it ends, it doesn't stop there.
I've had a couple of light hearted digs at the chavs already, and yeah maybe they can be a bit louder and more aggressive than your average music festival goer, but I'm not going to pretend that the piece de resistance of this annoying tale wouldn't have happened if they had been of a different variety of people. Living in Uplands, there are a lot of taxis, kebab shops etc, so it's unsurprising that a lot of the masses go home via this way. Unfortunately, due to a mix of alcohol and euphoria, and without a doubt something of the illegal variety, it renders them without a care in the world. This leads to groups of utter twats marching through the streets at silly o clock singing, fighting, and generally screeching at the top of their voices, without even considering how their actions may be affecting other people. I was woken up quite a lot, as was Jonny, and I'm sure loads of other people.
Ok, I understand how events like this could be good for the area, for example tourism. I also appreciate that it could generate a fair amount of money as well. But in my opinion it doesn't justify putting everyone in the vicinity through a bit of a nightmare in the process. Yes it's only one day, but unless you live nearby you can't imagine how annoying it is. And I'm not just having a bit of a moan purely because it's a be festival which includes the type of music I'm not really into; I had the same concerns when Singelton Park was going to hold the Fflam festival a couple of years ago. Initially I thought it was a good idea, but then I considered the location, and started to wonder if the organisers had really thought this through.
Anyway, rant over. There's not doubt EITP will continue for years, and I can deal with it, probably by investing in a good pair of earplugs. It's the older people I feel most sorry for, perhaps organisers should start a campaign to include them...
Whatever happens, I would prefer it if this particular outside disco was a silent one.
Thursday, 8 April 2010
So it's come to this
Well, I've finally given in and started a blog. I actually meant to start one a couple of years back, but I felt compelled to recently after it was suggested I should start sharing my life with the internet by a couple of friends. It may be a bit of hardcore procrastination on my part, too. Also I'm very bored right now as Jonny has gone to a Geography conference for two days (what can I say, I like bad boys).
I do think me keeping a blog is a good idea though. It means I can moan about people/things on here instead of using my Facebook status. But this one won't be about moaning as I've been thinking about my future recently so my first blog will be my musings on that.
I'm actually looking forward to finishing university. I'm growing tired of assignments, and even more tired of the reaction I get when I tell people I'm a student. Upon telling non-student people that I'm the big S, I usually get "playful" mutterings of "Lazy...my taxes...get a job" with a generous splash of tutting in between. While in part I think there might be a touch of jealousy in the tiresome reaction, I can see where they're coming from I guess. You've got Facebook groups such as 'University - it's like being on the dole only your parents are proud of you', and that's not far off what it's like some of the time. However I think these non-students overlook the fact that there is hard work involved, and it's not all alcohol, vomiting, one night stands and running naked through the streets. However one thing I enjoy when telling people I'm a student is telling people what I study. While I do get people being interested in the fact that I study Criminology, I derive great amusement from the people who feign joy while shooting me a slightly uneasy look and hastily making sure they're not doing anything illegal. If I produce a magnifying glass and a pipe at this point they run a mile.
Anyway, the summer should be interesting. I'm planning on working part-time for most part, while at the same time whoring myself out to any sort of law-enforcement establishment to gain experience so I have more chance of starting a meaningful career sooner rather than later. It's all for the CV, baby. I just know that I'm not going to jump headlong into the first mediocre job I can get my hands on, pretending to myself that it's "just for now". At the end of the day, people can get comfortable and before they know it, 10 years has passed and they're still there. I'm not prepared to waste the past three years of my life.
I'm also looking forward to moving out of the flat. While I still like it and it's been a good first place for me and Jonny, it's getting to that stage now where we need more space. We also really want a couple of pets (in particular a Scottish Fold cat - look it up. They are AWESOME). Ideally we'd like to stay around Uplands as it's a great area, we've grown pretty fond of it.
Well I think that's it for my first blog. Stay tuned for more crap soon.
I do think me keeping a blog is a good idea though. It means I can moan about people/things on here instead of using my Facebook status. But this one won't be about moaning as I've been thinking about my future recently so my first blog will be my musings on that.
I'm actually looking forward to finishing university. I'm growing tired of assignments, and even more tired of the reaction I get when I tell people I'm a student. Upon telling non-student people that I'm the big S, I usually get "playful" mutterings of "Lazy...my taxes...get a job" with a generous splash of tutting in between. While in part I think there might be a touch of jealousy in the tiresome reaction, I can see where they're coming from I guess. You've got Facebook groups such as 'University - it's like being on the dole only your parents are proud of you', and that's not far off what it's like some of the time. However I think these non-students overlook the fact that there is hard work involved, and it's not all alcohol, vomiting, one night stands and running naked through the streets. However one thing I enjoy when telling people I'm a student is telling people what I study. While I do get people being interested in the fact that I study Criminology, I derive great amusement from the people who feign joy while shooting me a slightly uneasy look and hastily making sure they're not doing anything illegal. If I produce a magnifying glass and a pipe at this point they run a mile.
Anyway, the summer should be interesting. I'm planning on working part-time for most part, while at the same time whoring myself out to any sort of law-enforcement establishment to gain experience so I have more chance of starting a meaningful career sooner rather than later. It's all for the CV, baby. I just know that I'm not going to jump headlong into the first mediocre job I can get my hands on, pretending to myself that it's "just for now". At the end of the day, people can get comfortable and before they know it, 10 years has passed and they're still there. I'm not prepared to waste the past three years of my life.
I'm also looking forward to moving out of the flat. While I still like it and it's been a good first place for me and Jonny, it's getting to that stage now where we need more space. We also really want a couple of pets (in particular a Scottish Fold cat - look it up. They are AWESOME). Ideally we'd like to stay around Uplands as it's a great area, we've grown pretty fond of it.
Well I think that's it for my first blog. Stay tuned for more crap soon.
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